Beyond the Law of Attraction
Andrea is animated by joy as she shows me a picture of the house she and her partner are buying. After selling their condo, they’ve spent months on the emotional roller coaster of making offers on a succession of ‘perfect’ homes only to see each deal fall through. This fifth house will be theirs. Champagne sits on ice as the escrow date nears.
Buying this house is one way they are closing a difficult chapter in their lives and moving forward. Andrea, a patent attorney, lost her mother two years ago to a protracted illness. Her partner, Pat, was laid off from her job last year, forcing her into an unwanted career transition. She just landed a new job that is a better fit for her talents. They are now ready to create a home, nest and reclaim joy.
Andrea credits the Law of Attraction with bringing them this house but Pat rolls her eyes. “Believe that if you want,” Pat says, “but we worked hard to find this house.”
Andrea and Pat are both right.
Self-help circles often champion the idea that we create our own reality, but we can take this idea too far. I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction, that what we pay attention to expands in our consciousness. Focusing our attention on what we want, verses what we don’t want, has a powerful impact on what we draw toward us. The Art of Allowing teaches us how to get out of our own way and remain open to outcome. These are smart principles to live by, especially when we are ‘inventing the next story’ of our lives.
However, the Law of Attraction is not the only game in town. Other dynamics abound that must be factored in. Consider that there are always unconscious forces at play we may never fully understand or that will not make sense to our rational mind. That is the magic and mystery of life. Many people believe in the Law of Karma. Life is full of synchronicity and the unavoidable law that Shit Happens. These factors operate concurrent with the Law of Attraction. Thinking we are the creators of our reality without acknowledging these other influences can lead to a feeling of anguish or shame if our lives are not going ‘as planned,’ especially if we’re doing everything ‘right.’
It can also enforce the seductive illusion that we are in full control of how our life unfolds. Yes, we can make things happen, and chose healthy responses to anything, but some events are so beyond our choosing that they can only be accepted and accommodated. (I suspect many cancer patients, furloughed government workers and Syrian refugees would agree.)
Fortunately, we are also under the influence of grace. Swami Babba Muktananda spoke of the two wings of the bird: grace and self-effort. You need both to fly. We can put great effort into our commitments, but grace lifts us and lends wisdom and courage to go beyond ordinary powers and be with whatever is put in our path, wanted or not.
Haven’t we all been blessed by not getting the thing we most wanted, when we wanted it? Grace abounds, both inside and outside of us. It is not based on merit or granted by some outside authority. It slips into the mix through our dreams, divine inspiration, and synchronicity. You don’t need to work hard to earn it, but you can increase your awareness of it. Be on the lookout.
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