Anger – It’s an Inside Job
Holding on to a grievance is one way we tie ourselves to the past and limit what is possible for ourselves in the present and future. Here is a great quote to ponder if you find yourself doing so:
“Of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievance long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you swing back—in many ways it’s a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.” – Frederick Buechner, Writer, finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award
This post is about the tyranny of anger (healthy anger’s evil sister). What person came to your mind when you read this quote? Does anger still smolder inside you toward this person and have you indulged in a thousand imaginary conversations with them, conversations where you always had the upper hand of righteous indignation and eloquence? It’s great entertainment, but it can only take you so far.
What is this grievance costing you in terms of time, life energy, creativity and joy? Go on, make a list, then ask yourself: Is it worth it? How would your life be different and what would be possible if this grudge evaporated? Poof! Are you ready to let it go now as an act of health, self-regard and maturity?
Your honest answer might be ‘no,’ but at least you’re bringing awareness to your agita. Can you move the needle a bit and see that one day you might be willing to let it go? Willingness and future aspiration are good steps toward eventually letting go.
I’m not saying this is easy, but there are tools and practices to support letting go and it is worth it. Honorable Closure is first and foremost an inside job. The conversations we most often need to change are the ones we’re having with ourselves.
Now I’d like to hear from you , dear Reader, . . . what practices work well for you when you wish to shift out of a negative mindset? Comment on my Facebook page.
Learn more about the 4 step process for Honorable Closure and how Linda uses it to support individuals in transition here.