How One Woman Met Betrayal with Love

 In Forgiveness, Honorable Closure (HC), Letting Go, Personal Transitions, Shunned, The Departure Lounge

Ten years ago Lisa Schrader’s life was shattered when she discovered that her husband of twenty years had betrayed her for another woman. Through the grace of time, tears, honest reflection and hard work, Lisa and her ‘was-band’ are now close friends who delight in each other’s company.

How did that happen?  

Lisa approached me with a desire to share her story here on the Departure Lounge. As we discuss her journey from brutal betrayal to honorable closure, we bust a few myths about forgiveness and anger. Lisa tells us why she prefers the term ‘was-band’ to ‘ex-husband’ and the turning point that expanded her understanding (and experience) of love.

We also explore the difference between the cruel religious shunning I write about in my memoir and creating clear boundaries with people who have done us harm. Sometimes it is healthy and wise to turn away from someone.  I hope you enjoy this candid conversation at the intersection of endings and beginnings.  After listening, I’d love to hear some of the ways you have learned to work through betrayals of the heart and move toward closure.


Lisa Schrader is the founder of Awakening Shakti and the SheSource podcast. As an internationally known teacher, author, coach and mentor, Lisa supports women to be the mothers, lovers and leaders they are here to be. Learn more about her work at awakeningshakti.com.

Showing 4 comments
  • dierdre

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    • Linda A. Curtis

      Thank you, Dierdre. I was unable to open the link you sent as it set off a virus alert on our server. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed the post. It was a joy to have this conversation with Lisa.

      All best,

      Linda Curtis

  • Marlene

    Minutes ago I finished your book, Shunned. Having grown up in a small town all of my life, and witnessing the lifestyles of Jehovah Witnesses. The constant shunning of members as they grow up through the rebellious teens, the marriages that fall apart, families torn apart. It has always stood out to me as a “worldly” outsider, and a strong family person. I could never understand how people could turn their backs on family and friends because a hierarchy of men standing behind a bible say so. Thank you for answering so many questions. As heartbreaking as it was, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your memoir. I have alway loved reading true stories of strong women and you are a strong woman. My daughters (who are also strong women) are looking forward to reading your book as well. I hope life is good to you, and you continue to write wonderful books for us to read. Thank you.

    • Linda A. Curtis

      Dear Marlene,
      Dear Marlene, Thank you for your beautiful message. It warms my heart to receive messages like your’s and discover the common experience so many of us have with the Witness religion. I am grateful to be of service in helping you better understand it. And so grateful that you would take the time to write me, and to share my work with your daughters. Let’s all just keep going!!!!! Life is rich and wonderful and I promise to keep writing.

      Take good care of yourself, and one thousand apologies for my delayed reply. I was on book tour in Portland and then took a few days off to rest and restore.

      Linda